What is respect? The definition for kids and how to model it

Written by Priscilla Blossom

As Published in Care.com on: September 30, 2024

Learn a simple respect definition for kids, plus expert strategies to teach children of all ages about this important concept.

As a child, you were probably told more than once to have respect for others, especially your elders. It seemed simple then: don’t talk back; don’t mess with other people’s things; don’t goof off. But now, as a parent or caregiver, you might begin to notice that these sorts of things don’t always come easily to everyone. So, how should you start digging into the concept of respect with your little ones?

“I believe respect is a core component or characteristic of a healthy relationship, so it must be learned early,” says Daisha Miller, a licensed associate marriage and family therapist with Open Mind Health. “Learning the concept of respect teaches children how they should be treated and how they should treat others.”

“It’s about understanding that every person deserves to be treated kindly, listened to and cared for, just like they do.”—Brooke Sprowl, licensed clinical social worker and founder of My LA Therapy

What is respect?

“For children, I like to define respect simply as ‘knowing and showing that everyone matters,’” says Brooke Sprowl, a licensed clinical social worker and the founder and clinical director of My LA Therapy. “It’s about understanding that every person deserves to be treated kindly, listened to and cared for, just like they do.”

Sprowl says she usually explains it to kids in the simplest terms: Respect means treating others in a way that shows you care about their feelings and needs, just as you’d want them to care about yours. She says the idea is to help kids learn that respect is meant for everyone, even when you don’t always agree with them or get what you want.

“It also means taking care of things — whether it’s a friend’s toy, the environment or a pet — because showing respect isn’t limited to people,” she adds.

Additionally, Sprowl says understanding boundaries is crucial to understanding (and teaching) the respect definition for kids. “Often, we consider the adage ‘no means no’ solely in the context of sexual consent; however, this principle applies universally to all aspects of personal boundaries, and is fundamental in teaching respect,” says Sprowl. “Children can learn respect by recognizing and honoring these boundaries.”

What are some examples of respect for kids?

While older generations may have equated respect with silent obedience, the current generation of adults raising children has a much more nuanced take on this concept. Many of us now consider things like bodily autonomy and consent to be just as important as respect. Parents may also distinguish between having respect and showing respect.

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